LOBSCOUSE

The soul-eating lobscouse is often mis-categorized as a predatory or dangerous creature since it is widely known that it feeds on the soul. Indeed in the middle ages through the early 1900’s this was a problem. The soul-eating lobscouses, nearly extinct by the early 1900’s, would occasionally pop through their interdimensional habitat for a tasty soul snack, prompting, understandably, much panic from local communities which, in the early 1900’s were rather short on soul to begin with.

The lobscouses are intelligent hunters and in the early 1920’s the small remaining population migrated towards the southeast of the United States as restaurants unwisely advertised much “Soul Food”. Realizing that this did not mean what they thought it meant, the migration patterns then turned northwards and settled around Detroit where they found an abundance of soul in the 1950’s and 60’s. At this point a major turning point occurred in the evolutionary history of the lobscouse: populations realized that a more filling and reliable food source was not the human soul itself but soul music, which could even be generated via recordings. Soul music after the 1950’s was very abundant, especially in Detroit and the lobscouse’s diet, previously hard-won was suddenly very easy to attain.

After this important change was made in the lobscouse’s food source, the populations saw a marked increase and they went from “endangered” to the magical creatures watchlist. We at the ASPMC are overjoyed to see the numbers of this gentle creature grow yearly. Researchers from Tufts Magischola Magibilogy department have seen younger lobscouses feeding on R+B, suggesting their feeding patterns may be evolving. With its appetite satiated through music, lobscouses have developed a friendly, loving relationship with humans as the primary generators of their food source. If you would like to see a lobscouse yourself, simply put on an Al Green record and wait quietly. You may see a soft shimmering in the air as the lobscouses come and silently feed on the satisfying soul. Should you ever see a lobscouse in the wild, be sure to have a Marvin Gaye emergency button on your phone to keep the lobscouse from looking for souls elsewhere if no music is to be found.